Reader Contribution: Need to understand underlyings of extramarital affairs
Extramarital affairs are the most common problem of modern India. I am an Indian cit
Extramarital affairs are the most common problem of modern India. I am an Indian citizen who can better comment or see the problems in our social structure rather than commenting on the whole wide world. Extramarital affairs are mostly made to search love outside marriages.
Many people betray their partners for physical lust. But in some relations romance, inner soul connections and purity of love are most important. Platonic love and emotional attachments do exist in this world.
All extramarital relationships are not made to get physical love only. Some people find caring partners outside marriage with whom they feel good to spend time and learn valuable things. Many partners change the perspective of your thought process.
Rahul cares a lot of his wife but he has a friend with whom he shares his personal problems and spends most of the time. Their relationship is not made to fulfil sexual lust. Rahul’s wife is not educated and she does not participate in conversation with her husband on different topics. Rahul still gives her respect but he feels comfortable in his friend’s company.
Social infrastructure has entirely changed in past few years. Broken marriages left behind many things. Betrayal gives permanent scar on a person’s soul.
My main motive is to find out the reason behind extramarital affairs. Dr. Brian Weiss is a famous psychologist whose research work and study has shown us a different path. I have read many books of Dr. Brian. He often writes that souls travel from one dimension to another in search of love and in this process souls comes in connection with many other souls. Some souls find their soulmates and other souls take birth to get pure love.
Many common mortals see these relationships from one single opinion and here I must say that I am not defending such relationships. I feel that this is the most sensitive topic I have ever chosen to write upon. Sex plays the biggest role in marriages and love relationships but still there are people who love the other person without indulging in sex. It’s a hard fact. We see things from our own perspective but we hardly know the truth which other person goes through while being in a relationship.
Love is the eternal truth of life. We run after money or sex but deep inside our hearts each soul needs a soulmate who can give selfless love. In an affair, wives get the sympathy of society, males take advantage of being a male but the third person gets humiliation and is being targeted easily for everything.
I have seen even the highly qualified people commenting on other person’s personal lives without knowing the facts. Many people hide relationships because of social pressure. I think we must not take it as a problem.
Every problem comes with a solution. Old generations had faced such problems too but the actual strength was their partner’s belief and trust which saved not only their marriage but also helped to correct their mistakes.
In modern world people are going through stress and lot of challenges. They spend most of the time outside homes with other people. Emotional attachments develop in this process. Opposite sex attracts and sometimes relations develop between two people.
Real culprit is not the third person in an extramarital affair but its only love which is responsible to make or break any relationship. Saving a marriage is really important but the third person suffers the most and looses his or her dignity in such relationship. That person too needs love and sympathy. May be he or she has taken a wrong path to love a married person but after all other two people are also responsible for broken relationships.
Why should we trigger the third person all the time? Love is a person’s need and it’s his or her choice to give it a shape whether physical or emotional. Physical involvement can break the trust in a marriage and with society’s pressure mostly people choose previous partners to live their lives. But in few relationships people choose to live separately and still care for each other.
I think emotional and Platonic relationships are much more valuable and can go far but physical love ends with time and whomever you decide to leave, live his or her life with guilt and sadness.
It’s better to find the real culprit of your love life and design your life with perfect relations. Give priority to all relationships according to your own choice but don’t let any other person feel ashamed of a relationship.
Pratyusha Bannerji’s suicide made me think over and over again on this issue. People have forgotten her with time but my intention was to present her story with a different outlook.
In the end I would like to say that all relationships are important and we must save them before dying.
Contributed by: Hritu Sodhi