Anger is one of the feelings that make us human. Not only Happiness is very important in our life it’s the Anger that can really test our existence. Each day and each hour we can face several situations which can result in Anger / Irritation / Resentment / Outrage etc. And it has been said more than a million times that “We always have a CHOICE”. While I too agree with this, however 90% of the times we are not able to control anger. I am talking here about people like us and not the ones who have attained “Moksha”.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal factors. While we can control the internal factors, however it is almost impossible to control the external ones. To trace the nature of your anger, one can actually draw a line graph where ‘y axis’ depicts the level of anger and the other axis shows the time duration. We can add ‘z axis’ to the graph which can show the resultant part. Therefore, it’s not only the degree of anger but the time duration you hold on to decides the consequences. Higher the anger and the longer you hold it, the result will be proportionately damaging.

The mind and heart loses its synchronization when we are angry and if this condition persists for a longer duration you will soon have to see a Psychiatrist. There is a fine line between showing your strong concern and being angry about. One can cross this fine line without knowing that he/she is slipping to another zone where it can hurt someone. Also holding on the grudge for long can make you lose the sense of life and make your life directionless. The more angry you are, the more lost you will be. Therefore, we should control our anger before it controls us.

So, how do we deal with anger? We may use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with anger. The three main techniques are expressing, redirecting, and calming.

• Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive (not aggressive) manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, we have to learn how to make clear what we need, and how to get them, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
• Another approach to Anger management is redirecting it. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to suppress your anger and direct it into more constructive behavior.
• Calming yourself is an exercise that needs a lot of practice. But once you get used to it then you can also reduce the number of angry encounters. Here you are trying to kill the extra energy that is developing inside you. Well actually you are not killing it, but you are restoring the energy for the future.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems and make you lose more than just your job. Therefore, try to find a way out for your anger. I would recommend redirecting your aggression and energy to achieve something big and positive. With this technique you will not be lost in translation and will be able to channelize your energy in a better way.

About the author – Amit Sharma – A Father, A Marketer and a Curious Global Citizen.