A great person said: It’s not what happens to you that matters, it is how you react to it that matters.

I would like to elaborate the point through “reel” life examples which appealed to me, and which are, I think, definitely applicable in real life.

Few days ago, I was watching the blockbuster movie of early 90’s ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’ for the first time. In the movie when the protagonist tells his millionaire father that he is in love with a girl (who happens to be from a very poor family), the father categorically refuses to accept the relationship, gets really angry, threatens him to snatch every luxury from him and challenges him that he cannot earn even a meagre Rs. 100 of his own.

Instead of reacting angrily and getting incensed , the son calmly and firmly tells his father that he has decided to marry his beloved and that although he has not yet done anything of his own, he has the ability to learn to survive in the outside world and leaves the sprawling mansion of his father. At this point, what struck my mind is; had the son  reacted angrily and engaged in a heated altercation with his father, the situation would have got worsened and the relationship more irreconcilable. The way son reacted, his father could not get angry with him beyond a point. It is the “reaction” of the son that saves his relationship with his father in the end.

The second example which created big impact on my mind is from blockbuster serial “Balika Vadhu”. In this serial, the grand mother-in-law was the matriarch of the family. Her personality was like a commander of an army- strict disciplinarian. She had a lovely and charming grand daughter-in-law, Anandi of about ten years. Matriarch had only one grandson (about thirteen years) and she loved him and treated him like a prince, which was not the case with Anandi. Grandmother treated Anandi like a servant. She punished her and scolded her severely on smallest of the mistakes. She did not let her study and when she tried, the grandmother burnt her books, albeit cleverly, so that nobody in the family came to know the truth.

But Anandi never reacted to any punishment given by the grandmother. Instead, irrespective of every negativity of the grandmother, she loved, cared and respected her by heart. Gradually, because of this attitude of Anandi, the attitude of grandmother changed towards her and she started treating like her own daughter. She genuinely started caring for her so much that she did not allow anybody at home to scold Anandi for anything. In short, grandmother’s attitude towards Anandi changed upside down.

At this change in grandmother’s attitude towards Anandi, what struck my mind, again, is what would have happened, had Anandi reacted every time to grandmother’s scolding- the environment of home would have got unpleasant, the parents-in-law of Anandi who loved her like their daughter would have quarreled with grandmother making the atmosphere more unpleasant, Anandi would  have had developed a general negative attitude by reacting every time to any negative treatment meted to her by  her grandmother, the family members could have revolted against grandmother for ill treating Anandi and because of that grandmother might have fallen sick thinking the new generation does not respect her anymore.

If any of the above would have happened, it would have probably destroyed the family, and in such case, nobody is the winner.

Coming back to the topic of our discussion, it was the “attitude” of Anandi and her “calm reaction” which made the whole difference.

In the real life also, it is our “reaction” to everything that makes the whole difference.

Now if we say that these are “reel” life situations and that they are being created artificially, then I can only say that although these are “reel life” situations, we can very well envisage them in real life, and we can very well opt to react to any situation in a cool manner.

Contributed by our reader: Deepanshu Suhalka